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  1. #1
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Your patter sucks.

    If you are new to this thread, you really need to take the time to read everything that has been posted in this thread so far so that you don't embarrass yourself

    I just posted a new patter that I'm planning to try out next week, and it immediately occurred to me how beautiful and awesome it is. It is absolutely amazing... I mean, it's better than the trick itself. I'll re-post it here.

    And if you're thinking of stealing the patter, go ahead, but keep in mind, if the patter of your other effects is not anywhere near as good as this, you're going to look stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Goudinov the great
    EFFECT: Extreme Burn:

    "If you ask a child what they want to be, boys might say they want to be a superhero; girls might want to be a princess. At some point in their lives, through experience, they are going to get the idea that they can't be those things.

    I still want to be a superhero and change the world for the better. (show 5 one dollar bills) I have 5 dollars here... I can't seem to do much with that. When you ask a child, 'If you could turn this dollar bill into any other bill, what would it be?' they would answer 'A billion zillion dollar bill!!!' If you ask an adult, they'll say a $100 bill. Where has our hope gone? Where are our dreams? I still want those dreams... watch..." *flick* (the bills are now 5 novelty One Million Dollar Bills.

    "Take these with you, and keep them as a reminder to never stop dreaming beyond what other people say can't be done"
    I am the best, dare I say, genius!!!

    The challenge is on... let's see what you've got, you who call yourselves "artists." BAH!!!

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  2. #2
    Steerpike's Avatar :: Moderator
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    When I was still a part of BNI, we once did an experiment where we were given a name of another chapter member and had to do their 60-second commercial. I drew the name of the group's attorney, a woman who specialized in collaborative law. This was the presentation I came up with.

    "I want to talk to you today about collaborative law and divorce." A pair of 6-inch silver rings are taken from my jacket pocket. They are linked together. "No matter which way you slice it, divorce is something no one wants to go through." I tug at the rings, filling the air with metallic chimes. "A married couple are legally so entwined that it's virtually impossible to separate them without hurting one or the other. But collaborative law changes that." The rings are pushed together and held in both hands. "All parties come together outside the court room and quietly resolve the issue to make it as painless, smooth, and fast as possible. A traumatic experience can thus be resolved with grace... dignity... and maturity." I move my hands apart and the rings separate as if they had always been apart.

    Got a standing O for that one.
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  3. #3
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Steerpike's Patter.... doesn't suck.

    Who's next?
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  4. #4
    Luis Vega's Avatar :: Elite Member
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    I am Next...

    I posted this a while ago...It`s a patter with Hovercard..

    "basically I am going to do a simple trick were I find a signed card...this trick could be anything...now when I am ready to levitate the card I just start talking about today´s movies and how a lot of them are in 3D now and how sometime ago I went to watch a movie in 3D...I am going to ask the people if they have tried to remove the 3D glasses during the movie...obviously you see the movie like in different planes and a little numb...then I am going to say that fortunately I have some of those glasses (in that moment I take a pair of 3D glasses and put them on) and say that when I do this trick is like watching a 3d movie...only that if you don´t have glasses the cards may look weird...in that moment I execute Hovercard...while doing that I tell people that I can see the deck as always...but maybe they won´t see it that way since they don´t have 3d glasses"

    I am too lazy to write it again...so I just copy-pasted it...

    cheers!!!
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  5. #5
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    Watch this!
    *performs effect*
    Taa-daa!
    -Timothy

  6. #6
    Shawn Mullins's Avatar :: Team Ellusionist
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    I’m lucky to have parents like I do. Unlike some they have always supported me. I think they caught how much I enjoyed magic when they would take me to the Brockton fair. Before what it is now it was a great fair with rides, games, side show acts and magicians. The magicians would do the cups and balls that I showed you earlier and I would watch them for as long as I could (this has been changed for the future of adding a chop cup routine earlier in the act). Occasionally they would notice I was standing there for a long time and would teach me something small that kids often are taught (I’m thinking of adding something small to perform and teach here). My dad noticed my interest and that year for Christmas he got me my first magic set and I worked on everything it had inside and kept ever secret it told me to. Unfortunately it also said “only show the person the trick once” but being young and only knowing one or two tricks I showed my family the same one about 50 times… I now figured out why my dad has high blood pressure! But the next summer came and back we went to fair where I would watch the performers. I was watching one of the side show guys; I think his name was Tony. He took a medium sized nail similar to this one *hold up the nail* and a hammer “hold up the hammer” and would pass them to people in the audience *passes them out*. He then would take the nail and sterilize it *take out an alcohol pad and rub the nail* as he said “watch” the audience would go absolutely silent and he did something my father and I couldn’t believe; my mom just yelled “I’m not watching this” and went for a candy apple. Tonight I’ll be performing this in honor of my parents supporting all the dumb things I do… *Smile and perform human blockhead*


    I'm still tweaking it a bit but I performed this at the last show I had and everyone freaked out and loved it. I hope it's up to par :-) and yes it's based on a true story.
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  7. #7
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Luis... that is almost good. You're a MAGICIAN!!! COME ON!!! MAN!!!!

    You have MAGIC 3-D glasses!!! when YOU put them on, it make people see things in 3D, that's why the card seems to pop off of the deck.

    SHEESH MAN, get your HEAD IN THE GAME!!!!!


    Also, what lasting impression does that leave with them? It's art, right? Art should make an impact, it should express a feeling, it should make people understand that feeling on a personal and emotional level!!!!

    I'll give you a little shove... put something in there about how watching a 3D movie, you can actually believe that you are THERE, and that for those moments... ANYTHING is possible... c'mon, you can do it!

    This post needs more exclamation points!!!!! and Luis... these exclamation points are for you ¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!
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  8. #8
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by SyntaxBlitz View Post
    Watch this!
    *performs effect*
    Taa-daa!
    SyntaxBlitz patter..... sucks!

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  9. #9
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Shawn... zzzzzzzzzz snore.....

    Don't get me wrong, it sucks, but only just a bit, because I FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY THROUGH IT!!!!! Otherwise, it's PURE genius!

    trim the fat... k?
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  10. #10
    Luis Vega's Avatar :: Elite Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goudinov View Post
    Luis... that is almost good. You're a MAGICIAN!!! COME ON!!! MAN!!!!

    You have MAGIC 3-D glasses!!! when YOU put them on, it make people see things in 3D, that's why the card seems to pop off of the deck.

    SHEESH MAN, get your HEAD IN THE GAME!!!!!


    Also, what lasting impression does that leave with them? It's art, right? Art should make an impact, it should express a feeling, it should make people understand that feeling on a personal and emotional level!!!!

    I'll give you a little shove... put something in there about how watching a 3D movie, you can actually believe that you are THERE, and that for those moments... ANYTHING is possible... c'mon, you can do it!

    This post needs more exclamation points!!!!! and Luis... these exclamation points are for you ¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!

    I think you misunderstood the patter...

    Prove taking your 3d glasses off during a 3d movie...it does look like in different planes...not in 3d...it looks blurry and somehow transposed like the hovercard of course since I have the glasses I see the cards normal...those are not magic 3d glasses, those are normal 3d glasses...I don`t like to call my audience stupid...do you think they are going to believe those glasses are magical?

    well...this is just a draft...
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  11. #11
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Luis, I understood your patter perfectly. And they can believe that your glasses are magical just as easily as they can believe that blue people live on a distant planet. It's not calling them stupid, it's entertaining them.
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  12. #12
    Luis Vega's Avatar :: Elite Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goudinov View Post
    Luis, I understood your patter perfectly. And they can believe that your glasses are magical just as easily as they can believe that blue people live on a distant planet. It's not calling them stupid, it's entertaining them.

    I beg to differ....but well,this is not the topic of this thread...maybe later we can discuss this...have a nice day!!
    The Lost Manifesto 65%...
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  13. #13
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    Patter for the "Rapid Transit" effect from RRTCM.

    Well, when I was growing up, my mom always was busy around the house. She was always complaining about how she couldn't be in two places at once. So, ever since I began learning magic, I have looked for a way to be in two places at once. Here, take this card. -takes card and puts it in their palm- You remember the card? Now, watch, I take this one and, here's the important part. It turns out, when you know a little magic, you CAN be in two places at once. -I wave the card over their hand and turn it over, showing the card they had just placed in their hand-

    Gets killer reactions every time.

    (And in case you were wondering if this sounds a LOT like "here then there," it's not, it's a completely different method.) ;)

    -Ryan

  14. #14
    Goudinov's Avatar :: Moderator
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    Ryan... WEAK!!! C'mon! You're just some guy doing a card trick! You started out GREAT, with the idea of wanting to be in two places at the same time. I mean, who HASN'T felt that? Then you slip into "If I do then, then you do that, and I do this, them this happens"

    That's the kind of mediocrity that EVERY other corny restaurant "magician" out there is doing. Get rid of the "you hold this, I'll hold that, I put my hand here, blah blah" junk, and you're on your way to a GOLDEN piece of magic. I don't care about the reaction, I want you to AFFECT people with beautiful art!

    You may be happy with that, but you can go so much further.

    LISTEN UP EVERYONE!

    I'm pushing you guys, because I'm trying not to lose my hope that every magician isn't a non-magical used car salesman that knows how to find your card... tough love people... I'm hard on you, because I care and I want you to get BETTER!!!!
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goudinov View Post

    I'm pushing you guys, because I'm trying not to lose my hope that every magician is a non-magical used car salesman that knows how to find your card... tough love people... I'm hard on you, because I care and I want you to get BETTER!!!!
    Yes.. I feel kind of bad about the "I take that, you take this" thing now.. I have a better version of it written down in my magic box at home. It involves the same plot, and I even wrote a V2 for performing it FOR my mom. :) I'll edit it later, and see if it sounds more professional and less, for lack of better term.. noobish. ;)

    Thanks for the hard encouragement, though! I need it, bad. My scripting skills are horrible, so any help is greatly appreciated!

    -Ryan

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